More Than Just An Agent
by Captain006
Summary: A different take on "Family First" in Season 8. Kibbs and Tiva.
1. Chapter 1

"We've lost agents before, haven't we? And when we do it's ALL HANDS ON DECK!" Tony shouted. Slamming his hand on top of his desk. His tear-stained eyes locked with the ice blues that still glistened in the dimly lit Bullpen.

"She was more than just an agent to you." Gibbs calmly stated watching his enraged subordinate become angrier and more emotional by the second.

Tony was slightly appalled by his boss's response or lack thereof. Ziva had been with them for years and now she's dead. And _this_ is his boss's response? Almost indifferent and the team wasn't working around the clock to find her killer?

"Y-yeah. She was like a daughter to you…a-and a sister to McGee and Abby…and she meant more to me than anyone!" Tony stuttered as best as he could before another wave of tears flooded his vision. Gibbs was acting as if Ziva was nothing to him. There was no proof that she was actually dead and Gibbs was already writing her off as a loss.

Tony turned his attention to the constant pleads of his father to get him to leave the office. He started fighting both of them.

"I'll breathe with Trent Kort is dead!" DiNozzo roared. A wild storm of vengeance darkened his eyes.

"He's right." His level-headed supervisor stated. Not taking his eyes off his subordinate. "Go…or go for good."

Tony's jaw dropped. He paused for a moment and swallowed another lump forming in his throat just enough to bravely choke out, "You don't seem to be _quite_ as dedicated in finding this guy as you were with Ari." Tony grind his teeth. If it meant losing his job or Gibbs punching him in the jaw then fine. He had nothing more to lose.

Gibbs froze. His own eyes matched the darkness in Tony's.

"Do not compare this to what happened to Kate." The senior agent threatened.

"It's just like Kate." Tony snarled. Emphasizing the 'T' in his former partner's name.

"Is this _nothing_ like that." Gibbs raised his booming voice.

"Yes, it is-" DiNozzo spat back.

"DINOZZO!" Gibbs cut him off.

"YES IT IS! It's just like Kate!" Tony persisted.

"How? How is this like Kate?!" Gibbs was ready to shoot him.

"Because the way I'm acting over Ziva is the _exact_ same way you did over Kate!" Tony's bellowing echoed throughout the soundless chamber of the now vacant Bullpen.

Gibbs went quiet. He slowly leaned over placing his rough and worn hands on top of the files that spread across his desk. He mustered every ounce of intimidation he could find in his being and bore into DiNozzo's challenging glare. He looked like a lion stalking his prey.

His chose his next words very carefully. "All I cared about was catching Ari. Nothing more than that! He was going to hurt a member of my team. I was going to see him dead one way or another." He paused for a moment. "Then he killed Kate. His whole goal was to torture me. Picking off every single one of you before finally killing me. I did not allow myself to grow closer to her than on a professional level!" The silver haired lion growled.

Tony, himself was silent. He just fixed his shirt collar and buttoned his suit jacket that was now stained with tears. Acting almost as if Gibbs' words were falling on deaf ears. He stayed silent until he was satisfied with his appearance and turned back to his supervisor. He gave Gibbs a bland smile that was verging on mockery. He felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. He wasn't dead but certainly wasn't alive.

With every word Gibbs spat back at him, Tony boldly approached him. Breezing pass his silent father. He walked as if he were a ghost. Quiet and graceful with no real sense of reality about him. He blocked Gibbs' only exit from his desk. Gibbs stood to his full height facing DiNozzo almost nose-to-nose.

Tony merely shifted his gaze just passed Gibbs' shoulder. He saw the lonely desk that was once occupied by two amazing women that could never be replaced. The former Marine fought the urge to look in the same direction instead he kept his eyes on his target. Tony tore himself away from the memories that seemed to dance off the soft glow of the old desk lamp patiently sitting and waiting for its next occupant. He caught his boss's unyielding glare once again.

Gibbs narrowed his eyes and lifted his chin. Tony smirked. He proudly lifted his own ever so slightly matching the senior agent. Whatever little patience Gibbs had was wearing very thin and very quickly. If the boy's father wasn't still standing in the room, he would have socked his subordinate by now for his insolence.

DiNozzo barely managed a bittersweet smirk. His voice was just above a gruff whisper. "You are a hypocrite. You make up these absurd rules that dictate your life and left you as a workaholic with three broke marriages. You broke so many of your own rules. You always take cases personally, you've said sorry, and you dated coworkers. Which is why you were so careful with Kate."

Gibbs slammed DiNozzo up against the back wall of his cubicle. He pulled his right arm back ready to strike.

"You said "please", Boss." Tony looked like an innocent little boy a sad hope in his eyes. "You never said that except to her. You bought her coffee. You never yelled at her." Tony's entire body shook with new found tears streaming his face once again. "No matter how badly she screwed up. You just couldn't do it. You were an absolute monster when she was kidnapped. I've never seen you act like that before." He paused a second.

Gibbs didn't waver. His eyes were wide and his fist shook with uncontrollable rage. His internal self was ablaze. A consuming fire raged in his gut. Numbness controlled him. His mind was absent. His chest was so tight it was suffocating him. He was angry. Beyond angry. But a different kind of anger. The kind of anger the young man pinned against the hard cubicle wall was feeling over Ziva.

It was like staring into a mirror. He saw Tony 20 years later as alone and angry as him. Forever holding onto a dead past and blaming himself for every mistake but closing off his heart in the end.

"She was more than just an agent to you." Tony choked in between sniffles. His own words used against him.

Gibbs' large fist still hung in the air then rapidly hurled it towards Tony's jaw.

"Even Ari noticed!" The young agent cried. He desperately shielded his face with the back of his hands waiting for the final blow that never came. He peered out between his fingers.

The former Marine's fist fell just short of striking the young man's palm. His mind's eye pulled him back to an old memory. He looked around and found himself in his basement staring into the hollow eyes of Ari.

_When I heard you were placing flowers on the roof where Caitlin had died I couldn't believe it. Such a romantic gesture…_

Gibbs clenched his strong jaw. The fire became ice. He never forgot that comment. He never forgot a single detail of that day. He also remembered not countering Ari's comment. He had a bigger mission. He told himself.

It was his fault she was gone. He should have done a better job of protecting her. He should have kept her safe. He should have locked her up in his basement after her kidnapping if he'd known that bastard was going to take her away forever. He should have done a lot of things.

But it didn't matter now. Kate was dead and there was nothing he could do about it. All he could do now was keep her memory alive and never let it happen again. And yet, here they were again with Ziva. But it was different this time. He'd watched Tony all day and the saw the same anguish and emptiness he felt when Shannon and Kate died.

But there was one thing that wasn't sitting well with his famous gut. He lowered his arm. "How did you know what Ari said? You weren't there."

Tony's eyes softened. "The same way I know you contemplated suicide after Kate died. The only other time you thought about that was after Shannon and Kelly died."

Gibbs' jaw now dropped to the floor. He clung to Tony's lapels. "H-how…how…" The quick-witted Leroy Jethro Gibbs stammered.

DiNozzo smiled as if he had a secret to tell. They never broke eye contact as Tony cautiously placed his hands over Gibbs' slowly bringing himself back up to his full height. He never told anyone about the suicide attempts or even him contemplating it. Visions of Kate and Shannon roamed his mind. Both murdered. Diane was even shot in the same manner as Kate. Another taunt from his enemies. It's like everyone knew something he didn't. It just kept repeating itself over and over again.

The older agent frantically scanned his younger counterpart's features. Begging for an explanation.

Tony smiled, "There's something else you need to know." A kind twinkle grew in his eyes. "You're in a coma, Gibbs."


	2. Chapter 2

"You're in a coma, Gibbs."

He'd seen combat and survived numerous explosions throughout the course of his career, yet nothing was more ear-shattering than the five simple words that just spilled out of DiNozzo's mouth. For the first time in a long time, the ever-quick-witted Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs was rendered speechless.

A small smile still hung on Tony's face. The older agent examined the young man's softened features. No evidence of mourning of any kind could be found in DiNozzo's expression. There was not a single tear stain lining his face. Even his suit was completely dry. It was like the past few minutes never happened.

Gibbs' eyes continued scrutinizing his subordinate looking for any kind of sign of trickery or just plain insanity. He also noted DiNozzo Senior was also nowhere to be found in the Bullpen. He was surprised Tony's father hadn't tried to stop him from clobbering his son.

The brilliant investigator kept coming up empty with logical explanations. This couldn't be real. His rational mind and Marine pride wouldn't let him believe what he'd just been told. But his famous gut still wasn't sitting well with the details Tony just mentioned. No one. Absolutely no one knew about the suicide attempts or even Ari's comment. That, however, was impossible.

But then there was Rule 39: No such thing as a coincidence.

Refusing to give in, Gibbs finally stopped his little investigation and looked DiNozzo square in the eye like he did before. This just had to bad some sick joke that was too low even for DiNozzo.

"I know you're thinking this had to be some kind of sick joke." Tony calmly stated. Gibbs' eyes widened. "But I can promise you, Gibbs, you really are in a coma."

Before the bewildered former Marine could respond, Tony cut him off. "I can see that me telling you personal details that only you would know isn't convincing you. So how about this?"

Tony kept his eye contact with the skeptic. A soft click from behind caught Gibbs' attention. The small lamp on the little infamous desk clicked on then off then on again without anyone prompting it. Gibbs watched as other lights started turning and on and off at random throughout the Bullpen. The flicking intensified. He turned back to Tony. Suddenly, the whole room went dark.

A soft click from his own little desk lamp illuminated the room, Tony had vanished and a smiling Ziva appeared in his place.

"Ziva?" His gruff voice murmured. His bewilderment grew. But before his brain could register anything, the lights flickered again. For a moment, time, itself stood still. Her dark hair swept perfectly to one side lightly brushing her shoulders. She just as a beautiful as he remembered.

"Kate." He softly whispered.

She cocked her head to one side and smirked. A smirk of his own started to form at the corner of his mouth out of habit. He reached out to brush her cheek.

Darkness surrounded him again. The lights switched one more time. And she was gone. That crushing feeling filled his chest again and swallowed the lump that had unconsciously formed in the back of his throat.

Tony reappeared in a flash.

"Now do you believe me?" Tony smirked. He didn't give Gibbs a chance to respond.

He head-slapped him.

The shocked look on Gibbs' face said it all. Now the man believed him.


End file.
